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Twelve Step Recovery  Workshop                  P.O. Box  26145 Baltimore, MD 21210                       410-880-2439         

One Illness, Many Symptoms - Sue's story

My name is Sue, and I am recovering from compulsive eating, co-dependency, relationship addiction and self-hate. I came to the Twelve Steps to deal with compulsive eating and found that I had scratched the surface of a much bigger problem. For me, it's not so much the symptoms I've suffered over the years, but the underlying illness of obsessive thinking and compulsive behavior. In the past, I may have had one symptom under control -- like the compulsive eating, only to find myself obsessing about another -- like some relationship. It was a black hole that drove me to depression and hopelessness.

When I started working the Twelve Steps, I began to see that it's all one illness and my problems became less overwhelming. I would be relieved of my self-hate just as I had been relieved of my compulsive eating. The only requirement was willingness and a desire to give up the compulsive behavior. Actually, there was one other really important requirement -- honesty. I had lied my way through life in the illness, and recovery required the opposite. For me becoming honest was, as program teaches, "simple, but not easy."

I have not been perfect in my recovery. I have experienced relapses, and kicked and screamed my way through certain changes. But, my life is a thousand times better than when I lived in the illness. I have a lot of external things that make my life worthwhile -- healed relationships with family, a solid marriage, and a satisfying job. But, I also have something internal that's most valuable to me. That "something" is a relationship with the God of my understanding, who frees me to live my life fully and gives me the strength to accept life on life's terms. God does for me what I could not do for myself!

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